Show vs. Tell

How to spot it in your writing.

You probably hear about show more than you tell quite often. There is a reason for that. Too many times, we use our default setting and 'tell' a story like we are telling a friend, but that doesn't work for storytelling. When we are writing a book, we need to reveal information through action scenes and dialogue.

In this article, you will be shown the difference between telling and showing by through examples.

Show vs. Tell

Telling is when you have the narrator state information. Showing is when the narrator takes a step closer to the characters and reveals information through the character’s actions and dialogue.

For example:

I can tell you ...

Dan hates the homeless and treats them like they are dirt.

I can show you …

Dan was bragging that he tipped over the can of change a homeless man was holding out and told him to get a job.

I can show you, show you ...

Dan smacked the can out of a homeless man’s hands. “Get a job.” He scowled and stepped over the spilled change into his office building. “Hey, Bob. See that useless man out front?” He jerked his thumb toward the door and laughed. “I just flipped his can. He’ll be picking up coins for a while.”

See the difference?

The first is a fact. The second is recapping an action. The third is showing his actions.

Telling isn't bad

Sometimes you need to tell your reader information about your characters. A lot of the time this technique is used when revealing a character's backstory.

However, large blocks of backstory can be boring to read and throw off the pacing of your novel.

Imagine if I went on recapping Dan’s entire 20-year career up to this point where he is a partner at a prestigious law firm and explained why he changed his mind about the homeless. Three paragraphs later, Dan finally steps off the elevator.

It’s too much information at one time and would overwhelm you with facts.

While it is harder to spread out information, it creates suspense. Readers will want to know what happened to Dan to make him turn into a not so nice person.

Taking your time to show backstory keeps readers reading, because they want to find out.

Too much showing is possible

Constantly showing throws off the pace as well. There is no lull in the action. No time for readers to process what happened.

There is a time for telling as well.

Tip: Mix it up

The trick is to use both wisely.

If you’re not opposed to marking up books, pick one up and highlight when the author tells in pink and when they show in blue. This makes it easier to see how one of your favorite authors mixes the two styles.

You will notice there will be a lot more blue than pink.

When highlighting showing, you should highlight recaps, flashbacks, most of the action scenes, dialogue, and dialogue tags.

All the telling sentences will be when the narrator states facts. These sentences may be within scenes so watch closely for those places.

When the narrator describes what a character is wearing, that's telling.

Example: She wore a long yellow flowing dress.

When the narrator describes an action including what a character is wearing, that's showing.

Example: Her long yellow dress swayed with each step as she walked toward her partner.

I hope you can see the difference and spot both showing and telling in your writing.

And I hope you enjoyed this article.

Happy Writing and Revising!

Kristin Noland - Speculative and Crime Fiction Editor and Ghostwriter