
Finding time to write is not always easy, especially when you are in charge of someone else’s health and wellbeing.
I don’t have traditional experience with caretaking, ie. not a mom. I wanted to state that first. But I do know what it’s like to take care of a dog with diabetes, blindness, and the fear of ‘going’ in the yard, and to take care of someone who is older and someone with brain trauma.
I have a few ideas about how to make time to write when you are a caregiver.
Taking care of the blind, diabetic dog.
While I don’t change diapers, I do pick up multiple doggie pads off the floor every day, and let me tell you, with diabetes, the pads are constantly being changed around here. Thankfully, she knows where the pads are, even if she can’t see them anymore.
We’ve had her for eight years, and in eight years, she has never learned to do her business in the yard. It doesn’t seem to matter what we do. While she will do her business when we’re on a walk, she comes back inside, drinks, and immediately pees again. Personally, I can’t do twenty walks or more a day.
I’ve cleaned up during and after diarrhea days, wiped her butt, cleaned her off, and showered/bathed her. This dog does not like the tub, so it’s a struggle every time. I started taking her to the doggy beauty salon to give us both a break. I have them trim her nails too. I spent so many hours clipping and filing her nails. She hates any machine sound, so anything battery powered was out. I did it all by hand and cringed every time I used the clippers, so fearful was I to cut the quick.
Other than lessening my stress, do you know what taking her to the groomer did for me? It freed up some of my time.
I now have a bit more time to write. True, it’s only a few hours a month, but with her at the groomers, I have the house to myself and can concentrate on my writing!
Since my dog is diabetic, I was pricking her paw and ears with a lancet to get her glucose reading twice a day. I took the results to the vet, and they said, “This is great, but you should be taking it three times a day.” It’s hard enough wrangling this fast dog, holding her still, poking her, positioning the device, and getting a good reading twice a day. I had to do it three times!!!
Eventually, I gave up. No matter the amount of insulin I gave her according to the instructions the vet gave me, her numbers were consistently in the 300s! I figured, what was the point of torturing her and myself if the numbers didn’t change much. So, I just give her a set amount of insulin in the morning and evening now.
What does this do? Free up more time for me to write! Granted, it’s only about ten minutes, but it’s ten minutes I didn’t have before. I’ll take anything I can.
Taking care of the older person.
While I’m not a full-time human caretaker, I did spend two months in charge of my mother’s health before her open-heart surgery and her recovery after the surgery.
The beginning of my stay was stress-filled and busy. I was doing everything for her. I’m not complaining, just stating a fact. About the only thing I didn’t do was bathe her. In my downtime, I crocheted a blanket instead of writing. I didn’t think I could concentrate on writing, because I thought I would get lost in writing and not catch something important like her having a stroke. So while I crocheted, I would watch her sleep, just to make sure she was still breathing. I’d look over every few stitches even when she was awake just to check that her mouth wasn’t drooping.
I assume it’s the same for children, checking in every now and then to make sure they are still alive and well.
But during your caregiver downtime, you could write instead of crochet. I know not everyone is as paranoid as me. (I’ve had issues with paranoia recently.) Even 15 minutes of writing between checks will work.
Taking care of the brain trauma person.
Taking care of someone you love with brain trauma is … difficult. Not only are you running around doing everything that needs done in a household, but also running for them whenever it is that they want something, because they no longer have any patience or a concept of time.
Not all brain trauma is the same, so someone you know may not have an altered perception of time, money, roles, or even right and wrong. But the person I helped take care of did, along with a lot more issues.
I wasn’t always around to help take care of this person, so I was more of a helper caregiver at the time. What I did provide was a respite for the primary caregiver. She was able to rest and relax as much as one can when their husband has brain trauma.
The point to this caregiving story is that if we get help, we can have more time for ourselves. It’s not giving up or shirking your duties. It’s important to take care of yourself so you can take care of someone else.
A caregiver’s health is just as important as the one we are in charge of. If we’re not healthy, physically and mentally, we can’t help those we love.
So, get some help, even if it’s from a neighbor for an hour or so. No, you’re probably not going to write the first time you get a break or even the fifth, but if you get a plan together and cycle other caregivers through, you will have time.
And the person you are taking care of gets to see other people and enjoy their visits. And with a cycle, you won’t tire others out.
Other thoughts on writing and caregiving.
Make an appointment with yourself to write, put it on your calendar, and don't miss that appointment.
Homework time could be writing time. Not sure if this will work. I don’t have kids. It’s just a thought.
Play dates could be writing time. Take advantage of having someone else watch your kid(s) for a bit to get your writing in. See above disclaimer.
Babysitters? Not the paid ones. Maybe a relative you trust?
Get up early or go to bed late. Getting up even 15 minutes earlier can give you a few moments to write and every little bit helps! Same with going to bed a little later. One of those times, you could have a quiet house to work in. At least, I hope so.
Love to all you caregivers!
Have more tips, share them in comments!
Kristin Noland
Ghostwriter and Editor of Speculative and Crime Fiction
コメント